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I attended a Bentley owners Champagne tasting at the Core Group’s (the local Apple VAR) new very impressive office in Sandton.

I must admit that the brand synergy between Apple computers and Bentley motors is rather interesting, but it really seems to work. Although it only works one way, Apple owners at a Bentley event could be be amusing, yet I don’t think Bentley would get very many sales.

The Core Group’s head honcho (I can’t remember his name) did a nice enough Keynote presentation, which the Bentley owners seemed to like. Although I really felt the urge to heckle him a bit, especially when his “facts” on Apple computers became a bit stretched. I almost sprayed larny Champagne over everyone when he mentioned that Apple invented the graphical user interface.

He of course took some well deserved digs at Windows, so I didn’t mind his “facts” too much.

I kept thinking to myself; “Ubuntu can do that, Ubuntu can do that BETTER, oh please Linux has had that since 1995″. He also didn’t mention all the cool Free and Open Source Software that can run very nicely on OSX, which I found disappointing. But I suppose I was the only real geek in the audience (sans Bentley) so what ever.

I must say one thing. I haven’t ever seem a presentation like that about Linux or Ubuntu. The FOSS movement really need to jack up their act in that arena. I include myself in the uit kak. The presentation really seemed to speak to that exact audience. While Keynote has some nice features, it really doesn’t make a difference. The Core guy blamed Powerpoint for those kak presentations that we all love to hate. Yet if you where to fork out some cash and get Missing Link to do your presentation, his Keynote presentation would look like a toddler put it together, and it would run in Powerpoint.

Now for the sex in the mouth bit that all the perverts where waiting for. I have bad news for you, it has nothing to do with having oral sex in the back of a Bentley while recording the action in iMovie.

No it is about Nicolas Maillart Champagne, OMG!!

I’ve never been a big champagne drinker, I have always though that Moet would make good battery acid. But this stuff is absolutely out of this world.

I pretty much hate wine fundies describing wine, I mean with quotes like; “intricate strawberry flavours and a subtle hint of manure in the nose”. I mean really, who the hell wants “manure” anywhere near their grog.

Ross’s wine review for “Angle’s gwar, Mammie klap Pappie, pap sak wyn”.

“Considering the wide appeal of this wine on the Cape Flats, I’m left with little doubt as to the pugitive appeal of this blend. It’s like domestic violence in the mouth with an aftertaste that is akin to be beaten up by the 28s. There is a distinct aroma of blood on the nose. While the first impression is that of toilet deodoriser, do not be put off. The second sip will numb your brain and you’ll pass out after the third.”

I think I should become a wine guru.

Anyway back to Nicolas Maillart, which has absolutely no resemblance to the above review. I would seriously recommend getting your hands on a bottle. As you can see I’m really not qualified to review wine. Let me describe the experience. Its like climbing into your brand new Bentley, for the first time. The bubbles subtly embrace your tongue as the soft leather seats would embrace your body. You come to realise that impeccable craftsmanship comes in many forms.

http://www.champagne-maillart.fr

Why did I write this? I don’t know, I didn’t even have enough Nicolas Maillart Champagne to get vrot. I suppose that I have proven that one can write about, Apple, Bentley and Nicolas Maillart Champagne (aka sex in the mouth) in one post.

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